


Itty Bitty, Teeny Weeny, Purple Man-Eating Konini

by BookofOdym



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Green Lantern - All Media Types, The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Pets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 15:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18122744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookofOdym/pseuds/BookofOdym
Summary: Barry and Oliver agree to pet sit for their friend, the problem is they weren't expecting to get attacked by an alien worm.





	Itty Bitty, Teeny Weeny, Purple Man-Eating Konini

Barry hadn’t expected to end up locked in a bathroom that morning, but he knew exactly who was to blame for his predicament. He should have known better than to go along with one of Hal Jordan’s suggestions, but it had been pet-sitting! He hadn’t expected anything to happen.  

He had been texting Oliver when his phone rang, in fact, he had just been about to ask if the vigilante was available for a date, with Barry specifically, when Hal’s number had popped up on his screen.  

“Hey,” Hal had said as soon as Barry picked up, his text to Oliver still unsent, “so it turns out that Ke’Haan needs help with his sector-”  

Barry went through his mental list of Hal’s coworkers, trying to place the name to a face.  

“Nah, you don’t know him, he’s normally working for Kilowog,” Barry couldn’t place the emotion in Hal’s voice, which made him nervous, “the thing is, I might have had a thing for him in boot camp, and fuck, if you saw him you’d want him to pound you through a wall too. So, I might have agreed without thinking...” 

“Where are you going with this?” Barry asked, his nervousness must have been evident in his voice.  

“The thing is, I need someone to look after my pet, just for tonight, his name is Itty.” Then, because Hal was psychic or something, he added, “speaking of being pounded through a wall, you should invite Oliver, both of you need some time alone together, and then maybe we’ll all be free of your pining-”  

Barry hung up, unwilling to listen to any more, but the thing was, Hal wasn’t exactly wrong.  

Oliver did seem happy that Barry had invited him along, though, he had shown up wearing one of his adorable (and rare) smiles and seemed to be unable to turn it off. He was also wearing one of those sweaters that always looked so sexy on him.  

Barry wanted to run his hands all over the archer’s body.  

“So, I was thinking,” Oliver started, although Barry was already far too lost in his smile to really be listening, “we could just feed Hal’s cat... did he say it was a cat? Then I could take you out to dinner.” 

Luckily for Barry, he managed to catch the last and most important part of that sentence and nodded quickly before he opened the door.  

He hadn’t expected an alien worm to launch itself across the room at him.  

That was how they ended up locked in the bathroom, Oliver had pushed him inside and now stood in front of the door protectively. The creature outside lay there, vibrating at them, it was probably issuing some kind of threat.  

“Do you think it ate Hal’s cat?” Barry asked nervously. “Or do you think it’s like a Yeerk and wants to take over our minds?”  

“I don’t know, but I want you to stay in here, Barry. I’m going to try and get us some help.” He moved towards the door.  

Barry grabbed his hand, pulling him back towards him. “No. I’m not just going to sit here and let you sacrifice yourself for me.” Then he smashed their lips together.  

The archer made a surprised grunt but soon kissed back just as hard, scrambling to pull off Barry’s clothes.  

They were only rescued the next day when Hal used a construct to pick the lock of his own bathroom. The alien worm was perched on his arm, and the Lantern looked decidedly unimpressed. “Are you kidding, guys? I expected you to fuck, but this is ridiculous. Itty says you didn’t feed him at all.” 


End file.
